Exploring Sober-curiosity and the Damp Lifestyle
March Healthy Habits: A Mindful Approach to Alcohol
You don’t need to have a problem with alcohol to consider reducing your intake. In fact, the majority of sober-curious drinkers considering the damp lifestyle aren’t alcoholics. Social drinkers, weekend drinkers and “only at special events” drinkers are asking the tough questions…
Do I really need/want to drink alcohol now/ever?
Even if there’s no perceived harm…are there really any benefits to drinking?
What would happen if I reduced my consumption?
“For many of us, getting Sober Curious begins with a simple question: Would my life be better without alcohol?” - Ruby Warrington, Sober Curious
Alcohol is so engrained in our society that for most people it’s simply a social habit. Whether your drink of choice is wine, beer, vodka or sake…rightly or wrongly, having a glass with family and friends is built into most cultures.
Most would argue that a glass here and there isn’t that bad…but the real question is: Is it good for YOU?
From a health perspective, the answer is clear and well researched—NO. And from a mental, emotional and social standpoint it’s, well….questionable (at best). So what should you do? Well, this is where sober-curiosity comes into play.
Sober-curiosity looks like asking the following questions:
What would it feel like attending an event, having a conversation and having fun without the assistance of alcohol?
What would it be like not feeling tizzy, loose and hungover on a regular basis?
How would being sober affect my relationships?
How would being sober improve my physical and mental health?
Sober-curiosity leads to mindful questioning, which often leads to mindful alcohol consumption.
Living a healthy life isn’t just about creating healthy habits. It’s also about questioning seemingly benign ones. Examining why you drink will help you navigate this area of your life whether you decide to indulge, moderate or eliminate.
Mindful Questions About Your Drinking Habits:
WHO are you drinking for? Are you drinking for personal fulfilment or social acceptance? Understanding whether you genuinely want an alcoholic beverage or just want to fit-in with the crew will help you understand and assess your motives.
WHAT are you drinking? What’s your preferred poison? What’s the alcohol percentage? Are you consuming sugary cocktails or potent spirits? Each drink will have a unique effect on your body, mind and emotions. If you’re not interested in reducing your number of drinks, would you consider choosing beverages with lower alcohol percentages?
WHEN are you drinking? You might be having a glass of wine each night with dinner, sipping craft beer with buddies on the weekend, or getting tizzy on Champagne at a special event…or you might be doing all three. Either way, identifying when you’re most likely to want a drink, will help you navigate the desire to drink when those times arise.
WHERE are you drinking? Do you drink at home, at the pub/bar, or the weekly Sunday afternoon BBQ? Every environment has its unique influences and challenges. Drinking with friends may increase the peer pressure to imbibe, but can also help you identify when enough’s enough. Whereas, drinking alone at home avoids the social coercion, but removes the support system that helps you cap your drinks.
WHY are you drinking? Are you bored? Shy? Excited? Most actions have physical and psychological triggers. Identify the emotions, thoughts, sights and smells that invoke your boozy itch, and ask yourself, “are there other ways to satisfy these urges”.
HOW do you feel (physically, mentally and emotionally) when drinking? “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction” - Isaac Newton. Even if you insist, “I never feel the effects of alcohol”, truth is—you’re always affected. You might feel slightly happier and relaxed, sociable or confident. Or you might move that little bit slower, feel that tinsy bit sleepier, or loose some questionable comments when you should have held your tongue. Either way, you need to acknowledge that alcohol does have an affect, and identify whether you are going to allow it to continue.
Now that you’ve done some self-reflection, can you identify whether you want/need that drink? It doesn’t necessarily mean swearing off booze and going completely “dry”.
If you want to decrease your tally, while still enjoying the odd glass, consider embracing a “damp” lifestyle. Reduce your drink count to a number that serves you and your intentions.
Your unique situation, preference and intentions will result in a unique approach and standard. That’s okay—no judgement here. My hope is that this article will encourage you to make healthy decisions, that form health habits, that support a healthy lifestyle.
Sober-curious Recommendations
6 Ways to Beat the Stigma around NOT Drinking
How It Feels To Be A Non-Drinker
How I Overcame Alcoholism
“I’m Good, Thanks”
“Alcohol is the only drug you have to justify NOT using” - unknown
Often, the hardest part of not drinking is the response from friends and family. The nosy questions, playful teasing and hurtful taunting is overwhelming. Saying “I don’t want a drink” feels akin to shouting “alcohol is from the devil and you’re all going to hell!” (something I wouldn’t recommend saying, haha).
So how do you refuse a drink without setting off someones defensive alarm system?
You might have tried the explanation approach before…this rarely works…and usually leads to an interrogation.
My advice is to remain nonchalant. Be cool, calm and collected.
Simply respond with “I’m good, thanks”. Then if they persist, stay steadfast and repeat “I’m good for now, I’ll grab something later” (little do they know you’re talking about water).
If being empty handed attracts too much attention, try cradling a soft drink or empty stubby.
This works whether you're avoiding alcohol completely, have stopped drinking for the night or simply don’t want a glass till later. The idea is that you get to choose when you drink without the pressure from others.
Then just sit back, relax and remain consistent. It may take your friends a few moments to relax and leave you alone, but if you don’t make a big deal about not drinking then eventually (hopefully) neither will they. And if they don’t…maybe consider getting some new friends, haha.